"Stop Inbreeding, Eliminate Drama...?"
[An Essay]
by Ash ^v^
The plan is simple: stop inbreeding, prevent furry drama. Simple? More like brilliant.
Urban Dictionary defines inbreeding as, "The breeding of two animals who are related to each other." Also, "How graduates and fans of Auburn University (a.k.a Cow College, The Barn, Bama Poly, The Silo, Redheaded step-child) procreate."
I don't think it takes a genius to realize this is an issue. Particularly the latter part. Sick.
Mind you, I am writing this for your own benefit (you know who you are*). This essay is a collaborative effort of two hours of sleep, nineteen hours without eating, and the impending stress (and subsequent apathy) that comes with the realization you have an exam in 40 minutes for a class you've been skipping all fall, and a list of 68 vocab words to memorize, in which you must first look up their respective definitions because your mindless professor neglected to do any semblance of "teaching" in the few classes you actually attended, but you felt the need to write an impromptu inspirational essay to your fellow furry friends instead of actually preparing, in mock of the inevitable agony your GPA will be feeling in two weeks when grades are released. You know what I mean. In other words, I demand your full attention. Strap yourself in and get ready for the ride**, 'cause this shit is real, yo.
Anyway, down to business.
The issue is as follows:
Inbreeding in the Furry Fandom ---> Furry Drama
Allow me to explain.
"Inbreeding," henceforth defined as the tendency of furries to only date other furries, may in fact be the primary instigator of butt-hurt furs across the nation. And possibly...the world! Here's why: furries are a tight-knit group. A kind of family, if you will. In terms of IRL connections, we can sometimes be hard to come by. Depending upon where you live, you may notice that there aren't many fellow furry friends in your area.
Because of its potentially explicit, erotic, and most definitely [uber]awesome nature, the furry fandom inherently acts a deterrent that seems to repel most 'fleshies.' As a result, it seems only natural that furs would want to date other furries...it's one less awkward conversation they have to have with their new potential mate.*** It sounds ideal.
HOWEVER! this is where the lack of IRL furries becomes an issue. Sometimes, it is difficult to track down local furs, much less furs that are proper dating material (ie. compatible enough with you that you're willing to briefly ignore your differences). At any rate, because furs in the real world are sometimes few and far between, there is a good chance you are good friends with all of them in your area. Which means your mate is most likely friends with them as well.
This is the root of the problem: when and if (following trends, it's more of a matter of "when") you should break up with your mate, chances are you'll want to date again. Your new "ex" will likely have the same train of thought. But due to the unfortunate lure of inbreeding, there is a good chance one or both of you will attempt to date another fur. The unforeseen problem is that your friends are your ex's friends, and your ex's friends are your friends. So if you date another furry, there is a good chance you'll basically be screwing your ex's best buddy, and all the while they are respectively sleeping with your own personal entourage. And what does this unchecked inbreeding, er, breed? Drama! Furry drama with friends among friends.
The solution: stop inbreeding. I'm going to elaborate upon this unfathomable fact by stating the obvious...there are other people out there you can date, not just furries *Gasp, boo, hiss!* Go figure. I'm not saying a furry relationship isn't great. I'm not saying a furry relationship isn't possible. I'm not saying I wouldn't want a furry relationship myself, but seriously people...there are more "normies" than furs out there....what makes you think that your soul mate is going to be a furry? All I'm saying is that you shouldn't be narrow-minded in this regard. Expand your horizons.
Stop inbreeding, eliminate drama. SAVE THE WORLD.
~The End~
lolololol
XD
____
*If you don't know who you are, I am referring to you. As in, "you".
**That's what she said.
***Operative word being, "one"
- Mood:
Artistic